Part of an emotional category of needs, trust is fundamental for people to live happily and have success in their business and life, whatever success means to them.
As little children we have to trust our caregivers in order to survive. We trust them to protect us, to feed us, to keep us warm and emotionally safe. But if we feel unprotected, unsafe, cold and unloved, and even not understood, we learn to hide or fight. Most of the time it happens without us noticing this. Unconsciously, we learn strategies to protect ourselves, to survive, and if our childhood experience was not as positive, we learn how NOT to trust other people.
The problem only comes at a later stage when these once little people start building their own families and making their own children. Children learn nonverbally from their parents. They unconsciously copy communication and survival strategies of their caregivers. If what they felt was mistrust towards them, they will learn how to mistrust other people.
The worst of this all is that lack of trust ruins families. It creates imbalances in relationships. It also harms businesses and some claim it costs billions of dollars to governments & companies. Why is that? Because when people don’t trust, they don’t open up and they don’t bring the best out of themselves. They don’t thrive, but just try to survive. They don’t communicate congruently. And moreover, lack of trust is a brother of fear.
When you deal with fear, you diminish your creativity and spiritual growth.
So the question is how do we trust more?
We trust more by firstly, consciously agreeing to trust more. It should be on top of your mind, as they way. Then you start building your reputation by actions. Past track record is one of the best trust-builders. You can choose a small goal and reach it. When you promise something, do it and make sure the other person knows about it. That will bring trust in your relationships.
Start small and underpromise but overdeliver. Step by step you will gain trust from people around you.
How can you trust more other people who ‘broke’ your trust? By ‘signing a new contract’ with them. Ask them to agree on new terms. Make those terms not as difficult for the first time, allow them to prove to you and allow your trust to happen.
Everything is forgivable and trust is always possible to grow and develop. You just need to allow it to happen.
And now I would like to ask you, how do you trust more? What helps you trust?
Please reply to this post with your thoughts. I look forward to hearing from you!
Love,
Darya