1. The Brain is wired differently for love and lust. It is possible to love someone and have a lust for them or for someone else. Lust is governed by the brain regions that are responsible for rewards and pleasure and is governed by a hormone called dopamine, whereas love is connected more to regions responsible for basic processes like thirst or hunger and is governed by hormone serotonin. Here is an article on this topic
2. Hugging can help resolve conflict and it’s feeling better. During hugging hormone oxytocin is released which promotes trust and compassion. In a study of 404 men and women researched found that hugging helped resolve conflict faster. Touch doesn’t limit its effect to only romantic partners. We can get hugs from anyone and feel better throughout the day.
3. Falling in love affects the brain like cocaine. Falling in love triggers the same sensation of euphoria experienced by people when they take cocaine. The study at Syracuse University revealed that several euphoria-inducing chemicals, such as vasopressin, adrenaline, oxytocin and dopamine are released in 12 areas of the brain that work simultaneously to produce the sensation of a ‘high’ feeling.
4. When lovers gaze at each other’s eyes their heart rates synchronize. We are more influenced by our partners than we think. A study at UC Davis in the US aimed to see if people in romantic relationships co-regulated their physiologies with their partners. In one of the experiments, the couples sat facing each other but just far enough that they would not be able to touch. The researchers asked them to simply stare at one another for three minutes straight in as calm a manner as possible (ahem) while they monitored the couple’s heart rates. So here comes a saying: ‘tell me who your partner is and I will tell you who you are’.
5. Romantic love in long-term relationships exists. The study at Stony Brook University concluded that romantic love is possible in long-term relationships and is correlated with high self-esteem. It’s not clear yet if high self-esteem helps us being in love with our partner or being in love with our partner makes us have higher self-esteem. I reckon it works both ways.
6. Brain in love helps boost the immune system. When we are experiencing the feeling of love, the hormone oxytocin is released in the blood. Oxytocin helps cement bonds and makes us calmer and more secure, less prone to depressions, have healthier marriages, have higher survival rates from surgeries and cancer, we generally tend to live longer. Read more on this topic here.
7. Love is a feeling we can learn to have more of. We can get better at loving. A natural ‘boost’ of our loving capacity is a practice of mindfulness. Researchers from the University of North Carolina did a study where couples enriched relationships after going through mindfulness practice. Here is the link to this study.
8. Love is better with sex. Did you know that sexually active people have a better immune system to fight bacteria and viruses? Also, they are more relaxed and have apparently better sleep, according to scientific research of the University of Pennsylvania and Clinic at Southern Illinois. That’s because endorphins and oxytocin are released during sex, and these feel-good hormones activate pleasure centres in the brain that create feelings of intimacy and relaxation and help stave off anxiety and depression. After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation.
9. Love improves physical and mental conditions, emotional and hormonal balance and helps us live longer and happier. The study by the State University of New York concluded that love may further serve to control the autonomic nervous system, i.e., stress reduction. The specific system pattern appears to exert protective effects, even on the brain itself. Moreover, the anxiolytic effects of pleasurable experiences may occur by the promotion of an inhibitory tone in specific areas of the brain. Thus, love and pleasure clearly are capable of stimulating health, well-being and productivity.
10. Be the love you want to have. Love creates more love. If you offer loving gifts, express gratitude, compassion, care and respect, people around you will start feeling more of these feelings themselves. So being a loving beacon or a role-model of loving behaviour is the best course of action we can take in life. Our mirror-neurons are receptors of what is happening around us, both visible and invisible, so even if you think kind thoughts, other people might start thinking kind thoughts too.
If you want to learn more about love and how to enrich it with your partner, join the upcoming Enrich Your Relationship online program.