Empathy is a Fundamental Human Need and part of the emotional category. Some people are good at being empathetic, some are not. But all of us need it.

So how can we learn to be more empathetic to each other, to enrich our relationships and satisfy this fundamental human need for people who matter to us; our partner, our children, parents, friends and colleagues?

There are certain beliefs that prevent us from being empathetic to things that matter to other people but not to us. Such beliefs could be: ‘I need to sort out my own stuff and that is more important than theirs’ or ‘I’m too busy and can’t dedicate my time to others’ or ‘I can’t help other people because I don’t understand them’ and so on.

A trick is that this self-limiting belief may keep us away from opening gates to our greatness. Without giving enough empathy to people around and close to us, we can’t be fully human and feel fully enriched.

In order to become more empathetic the focus should shift from self-centeredness to the other person or people.

Let’s take an example. Julie struggles in her relationships with Mark especially when he closes down and does not interact when she needs him. For Mark it is a time of escape and not facing challenges that he thinks he can’t solve. His strategy is to withdraw.

So instead of thinking about himself, he can start thinking about Julie and what she needs. By opening up to say a few words that he still loves her even when she is upset or angry, would allow Julie to satisfy her need for empathy from Mark and resolve a conflict.

I look forward to hearing from you. What helps you be more empathetic especially when you are under stress?

With love & gratitude
Darya

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